Thursday, August 20, 2009
everything's different and i don't want to be the same
back to starbucks again today. the layout of the cafe is no longer the same. for the worse, i feel. the previous arrangement made use of the space better, and had more class. the baristas were the same however. but by same i meant the same as those last year, not the year before. not when i was in year 1. not when sch was a school of unfamiliar faces. yet in a sea of familiar faces now, it seems worse than when i first entered law sch.
week 2. i was trying to make new friends at hku in week 2. i was a free spirit. and at starbucks i had iced tall latte. sometimes with a curry beef puff. sometimes with chocolate lamingtons. there weren't that many familiar faces at hku.
now i have americanos.
i woke up at 7 in the mornings in year 1. today i woke up at 11. i dunno why, but it is a struggle to wake up this week. i dunno what i'm tired of. of sch? of life? of myself? probably all. maybe the military discipline instilled in me has completely worn off. i remembered how i fortunate i felt to be out of the army then, how i promised myself to study hard and get good results.
now i don't seem to feel that lucky, or working that hard.
the happiest time for me was after visitation today. last week i again contemplated stopping visitation. it's always the going that is tough. but when the going gets tough, the tough are supposed to get going. the kids did make me smile.
i miss. and it should stop.
back to starbucks again today. the layout of the cafe is no longer the same. for the worse, i feel. the previous arrangement made use of the space better, and had more class. the baristas were the same however. but by same i meant the same as those last year, not the year before. not when i was in year 1. not when sch was a school of unfamiliar faces. yet in a sea of familiar faces now, it seems worse than when i first entered law sch.
week 2. i was trying to make new friends at hku in week 2. i was a free spirit. and at starbucks i had iced tall latte. sometimes with a curry beef puff. sometimes with chocolate lamingtons. there weren't that many familiar faces at hku.
now i have americanos.
i woke up at 7 in the mornings in year 1. today i woke up at 11. i dunno why, but it is a struggle to wake up this week. i dunno what i'm tired of. of sch? of life? of myself? probably all. maybe the military discipline instilled in me has completely worn off. i remembered how i fortunate i felt to be out of the army then, how i promised myself to study hard and get good results.
now i don't seem to feel that lucky, or working that hard.
the happiest time for me was after visitation today. last week i again contemplated stopping visitation. it's always the going that is tough. but when the going gets tough, the tough are supposed to get going. the kids did make me smile.
i miss. and it should stop.