Sunday, October 18, 2009
it's been a while

i dunno. maybe my faith just isn't strong in the first place. and when things don't go well, it wavers. after all this time, i'm still trying to find my way. now, i'm not sure whether He is real, or that i want Him to be real. haven't skipped service for so long in years.

at granny house's void deck today i saw this old lady rummaging the dustbin, presumably looking for cans to sell. it is times like these when i lose faith. why God, why the government, why rich, powerful ppl, are not doing anything to help. i wonder how many poor, old and destitute ppl are there. they never seem to be around, but that's because they live on the fringes of society. out of sight, out of mind, i guess. somehow everything is just screwed up.

yet it is times like this where i feel fortunate for everything that i have. i didn't get what i wished for most the past few months, but i'm happy with everything else that is given to me. perhaps everyone has their crosses to bear. perhaps all of us are destined for something. but who am i to know?