Saturday, December 19, 2009
it's over until it begins
oddly, and in retrospect, ict has been a blessing in disguise.
in the roughest times the perpetual worries at the back of your head remain at the back of your head. hurdles we clear one at a time, yet the nxt ten are always in our sights. but when there are ten right in front of you, there just isn't enough space in our minds for the nxt ten. that's how ict has been. the mosquitos, the mud, the tiredness, the rain, the soggy uniform, the sweat, they all combined into a huge wall in front of me, blocking away everything else. yet even the sturdiest walls get worn down by time. and soon, it's over, and the ten hurdles come into view yet again.
some hurdles i feel i'll never cross. some i feel i will not live long enough to see them worn down.
that day passed without anything. or maybe because there was something all along, that day did not feel any different.
i don't know what i'm supposed to do anymore.
oddly, and in retrospect, ict has been a blessing in disguise.
in the roughest times the perpetual worries at the back of your head remain at the back of your head. hurdles we clear one at a time, yet the nxt ten are always in our sights. but when there are ten right in front of you, there just isn't enough space in our minds for the nxt ten. that's how ict has been. the mosquitos, the mud, the tiredness, the rain, the soggy uniform, the sweat, they all combined into a huge wall in front of me, blocking away everything else. yet even the sturdiest walls get worn down by time. and soon, it's over, and the ten hurdles come into view yet again.
some hurdles i feel i'll never cross. some i feel i will not live long enough to see them worn down.
that day passed without anything. or maybe because there was something all along, that day did not feel any different.
i don't know what i'm supposed to do anymore.